How do you tend to respond when someone disagrees with you? Do you push back? Get defensive? Run away from conflict? Use the silent treatment?

Disagreements are inevitable in life. Learning how to disagree well is a life-changing skill. The saints were no strangers to conflict—sometimes even with each other.

Virgil of Salzburg was a missionary from Ireland. He became a bishop in Austria, rebuilt a beautiful cathedral, and was known across Europe for his incredible intellect. But that’s not all. Virgil was also known for his many disagreements with Saint Boniface. These two great minds clashed on topics from valid sacramental form to interpretations of original sin. As frustrating as it might have been, Virgil allowed these conflicts to teach him wisdom and help him grow to become the best-version-of-himself. Today, both saints are celebrated for their unique contributions to our heritage of faith. 

What wisdom have you gained from the disagreements in your relationships? 

Knowing how, when, and why to agree or disagree can be a significantly more complex matter than it may at first seem. For some people, agreeing is a way of life; for others, disagreeing is a

way of life, as if they have chosen one or the other as a default position. But if relationships are to play the role they are intended to, and help us to change and grow, then it is important to learn to agree and disagree in ways that are healthy.

In every discussion, we should first seek out what we can agree with in what the other person is saying. Our tendency is to race straight to our point of disagreement. In every discussion, we should keep in the forefront of our minds that the goal of an authentic discussion is to explore the subject, not to be right. You are not a criminal lawyer who is required to argue the case and attempt to win regardless of the guilt or innocence of the client. In fact, the more each person can remove his or her ego from the discussion and focus on the subject matter, the more fruitful the conversation will be for all involved.

Great minds always take genuine delight when points of agreement are discovered, even when the disagreement prevails overall. Always be open to new ideas and never shut yourself off from

the possibility that you may have been wrong. And if you can master the art of disagreement, you’ll be one step closer to becoming the best-version-of-yourself!



Feast Day: November 27

Feast Day Shared By: Blessed Bernardine of Fossa, Saint Virgilius of Salzburg, Saint Josaphat, and Blessed José Pérez González 

Patron Saint of: Salzburg, Austria

Also Known As: The Geometer or The Apostle of Carinthia

Canonized: 1233

Canonized By: Pope Gregory IX