Has anyone ever really wounded you? How do you feel about that person? How long has it been? If you saw that person walking down the street tomorrow what feelings would arise within you?

If you have ever been really hurt, wounded, betrayed, had your life put in jeopardy, been physically or emotionally abused, or had your heart broken maliciously, you have had to deal with the issue of forgiveness and will be dealing with it for the rest of your life. 

We do not know exactly why Saint Onesimus, a slave, ran away from Philemon, his master and a leader of the church in Colossae. But we do know that Paul urged Philemon to accept Onesimus back “no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord." (Philemon 1:15-16)

And we also know the insult to human dignity carried in the very idea of slavery—of “owning” another person. We can only imagine the radical forgiveness it took for Onesimus to return to Philemon. But he did return, and later became a bishop.

Jesus tells us to forgive our brother not just once, or seven times, but seventy-seven times. Sometimes this is because our brother keeps sinning against us. But what Jesus seems to be getting at is that we need this repeated forgiveness even more than the other person. Jesus knows that it may take many moments of forgiveness for us to release the pain and resentment from our hearts. To carry out this work of forgiveness, we often need to forgive the other person again, and again, and again.

That is what Saint Onesimus did, and perhaps Saint Philemon learned so much from Onesimus’ example of forgiveness that he too developed the virtue to become a saint.

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Forgive the same person for the same things over and over again until the resentment is gone from your heart.

Feast Day: February 16