Marriage is hard work. That’s just reality, and couples with really thriving marriages aren’t surprised when it’s hard work. And they know that marriage is also the best kind of hard work because you get to do it with your best friend.

In the next category of the inventory, we touch on some of the practical issues that typically come up in marriage.

How do you work through your financial concerns? How do you think about money? How do you approach planning your family? What kind of parent are you, or do you want to be? What will it feel like to be married? Do you think about the commitments of being a great husband or a great wife? How do you handle the complete and radical life change that happens when you get married?

If you want to have a thriving marriage, you have to be ready to have some really intimate—and sometimes challenging—conversations with your spouse around these areas. Start with your dreams. For every topic, ask yourself, “What do I dream about in this area?” or, “If nothing got in the way, what would a perfect outcome look like?” When you have a basic understanding of your own desires, you have something to start communicating about. Then, you have to make a decision to care about and genuinely invest in your spouse’s dreams. The goal of this category is to help start those conversations in a really healthy and positive way.